I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
