i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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