good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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