Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
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