What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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