Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
The power of my boobs compel you
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Randomize
