32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
