Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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