if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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