I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
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