I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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