thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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