Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i think my mom watched the whole time
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Randomize
