Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I would ride that face into the sunset
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
