I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
