I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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