i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
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