dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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