it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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