He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
