I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
