It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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