Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
