A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
