He is an equal opportunity slut.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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