You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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