I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Come on in and take your pants off
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
