He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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