I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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