I'd wear matching sweaters with you
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
