I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
