Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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