I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
