so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Randomize
