Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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