Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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