Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
