Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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