I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Randomize
