"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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