I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I'm getting married
To pizza
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
