she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
