I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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