I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize
