idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I still have a little drunk in my system
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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