I want to have your abortion
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
