If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
