She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Drunk walkin through police station. America
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Randomize
