Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
