i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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