Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
home. puking in laundry basket.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize
