I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I cut my penus on the lid.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
