the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
